What was I thinking???
By Mary
Do you ever commit to something, then wonder a little later “what was I thinking?”? Last week, I committed to running the Illinois Marathon 5K with my good friend Brittany. Since November, we have been motivating and encouraging each other with our fitness goals. At that moment, this race seemed like a fun thing to do together.
After the initial “Rah! Rah!” we can do this, the doubts started in my brain. I started going through all the reasons I can’t or shouldn’t do this. The list went something like this; I’m way too old, still out of shape, slow, I don’t think I have ever run a 5K in my life, I can’t remember the last time I ran 5 blocks, I’ll collapse , I’ll embarrass myself… I won’t bore you with the complete list but I can assure you it got quite long.
After about a half a day of listening to all those thoughts spin around in my head, I realized that two of my old companions had showed up again. Fear and Pride. Argh! Why do I keep letting those guys have their way with me? How often do I let them run my life? God does not want that for me. Both of those totally block the abundant life God has for me.
Honestly, most of my fears were driven by my pride. The same pride that keeps my struggles in the dark, the same pride that won’t admit that I need help with something, the same pride that sometimes thinks I need to present this neat little life all tied up with a pretty bow, the same pride that often thinks I can “fix” whatever by myself without bothering anyone including God. Pride almost kept me from writing about pride. How ridiculously absurd is that?!
So this week, I am spending lots of time reflecting on how adversely pride has affected my life and reading lots of scriptures about how great God is and how He feels about pride and humility. Job 38 is very humbling reading.
Do you struggle with pride? If so, what does pride look like in your life?
James 4:6 (NIV)
“God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”[b]
James 4:10 (NIV)
10Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.