This week has been a hard week for me. For no particular reason, my thoughts have been consumed with memories of my brother and with wishing that he were still here. I have just felt really sad and really alone. This morning I was laying in bed and the lyrics of My Beloved kept playing over and over in my head, “You’re my beloved, you’re my bride. To sing over you is my delight.” This song was stuck in my head through out the day.

This past Sunday, we started the series Margin. Let me just tell you that this series is already kicking my butt…IT IS ONLY WEEK ONE!

Craig used Romans 12:2 as one of the passages on Sunday, and this verse has stuck out and been on my mind all week. Romans 12:2 says, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will.” Do not conform…be transformed. Am I conforming? Am I allowing transformation to take place? Or, am I hindering it?

The past couple of weeks I have been studying a few of the kings mentioned in the Old Testament. There are two that stand out to me and their stories have helped me process the idea of creating Margin in my life. King Ahaz and King Hezekiah were kings of the Nation of Israel. King Ahaz was not a good king. King Ahaz’s story: knew God…forgot about God…started building idols to other gods…defiled the temple…was influenced by pagan people…left the nation of Israel in pretty bad shape. God’s response to this in Isaiah 7 was, “ If you do not stand firm in your faith, you will not stand at all.” God offered King Ahaz the opportunity to ask God for help and King Ahaz didn’t take it. He was captive to his sin. Flash forward…King Ahaz dies and his son Hezekiah becomes king. The Bible says that King Hezekiah did what was right in the eyes of the Lord. He recognized that his people (and his father) had been unfaithful to the Lord. King Hezekiah worked to make a covenant with God. They worked to purify themselves and to make things right. He allowed God to transform his kingdom and his life.

If you keep reading about Hezekiah you see that he slips up. The bible refers to the nation of Israel as His chosen people. All through the Bible we see that they were chosen to experience the blessing and the fullest life that God had laid out for them. Interesting enough though, when you read the Old Testament you see over and over about how God’s people resisted God’s blessing and seemed to forget about this beautiful covenant relationship with God. God proved Himself faithful over and over. He never left Israel…they seemed to forget about Him. The Old Testament is a roller coaster of conformity and transformation, much like our lives. God has offered us this rich blessing but we get caught up…we get distracted…we get disconnected. One king conformed and the other allowed himself to be transformed. If I examine my life, the margin in my life, am I more like King Ahaz or King Hezekiah?

Romans 12: 1-2, “Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will. “

We can all be encouraging each other and praying for each other as we are on this journey to create margin in our lives. What a beautiful thing it would be to see what God does with the space we have created.

Well, I am coming up on my second Sunday at Grace and whole week in Champaign. I am so happy and thankful to be here.  Jerris said something yesterday that I thought was pretty funny. He said, “careful who you talk to at weddings.” I saw the Duncans at a wedding and a few months later I am in Champaign. The fact that I am here and the blessings that I have seen on the way, are nothing less than proof of God’s faithfulness and His love.

This has been a very hard year for me and my family. In an instant everything that I had mapped out for my life became a far off memory. I found myself in the one place that I didn’t want to be and at a job that didn’t fit into my plan. I felt like God had just forgot about me. One day I was driving home from work and just had this break down. I was praying and telling God how frustrated I was. I don’t know what I was expecting to get out of my emotional rant, but I became really convicted. It was never that God forgot about me. The problem was that I just didn’t like the answer or the way that God was providing in my life. It was uncomfortable and I didn’t  have control. When I finally began to be ok (really ok, not just saying I was ok) with doing God’s work WHEREVER He wanted me, not just where I wanted to be, my life began to drastically change and I saw God moving in some really incredible ways.

Once I learned my lesson I asked God to use me WHEREVER He wanted; even if it meant staying where I was. I attended the wedding of two of my friends…had a 3 minute conversation with Jerris…and here I am…eagerly anticipating and watching for what God will do next. There is a line in a song by The Cobalt Season that I think is appropriate, “Careful not to draw your maps in pen and ink.”

Thank you for taking a step of faith to bring me here. I have already been blessed by so many of you. I am excited about getting to know you all and walking through life together. 

Peace,

Brittany Black